I just finished a book called "Thirteen Reasons Why" by Jay Asher. In short, the book is a dual narrated story about a girl names Hannah Baker. The story is seen through the eyes of both Clay Jensen and Hannah. Clay comes home from school to a box containing several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah who had committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons for her suicide, and if you receive the tapes, you are one of them. Clay follows Hannah's story through their town to try to figure out what happened, and where he fits in.
Now if anyone reading this knows me, you'll know I read a lot, but this particular book struck a chord with me. In an attempt to not totally ruin this book for you, I won't go too much into what happens. This story takes place while the characters are in high school. This is a tough time in life, especially for young woman. The pressures to look and be your best are always on. Hannah is a wonderful example of a perfectly nice girl who cracked under the pressures of high school. Hannah explains that, all the individual events that led to her suicide were intricately related in, what she calls, a "snowball effect." For example, one guy starts a rumor that she's easy her freshman year, which leads to her being objectified in this way throughout her entire high school career. Hannah makes sure that that first person on the tape realizes that had it not been for his little stories, the rest of the events may not have taken place at all. Hannah's story, although not true, represents the stories of so many people (not just girls). Unfortunately, it is no secret that suicide does happen. For people ages 15-24 suicide is the third leading cause of death.
I am quite aware that suicide, especially the suicide of young people, is an uncomfortable subject. Hannah points this out by sharing her experience in trying to secretively bring it up in class. And it is, suicide is a very uncomfortable topic, but I strongly believe it's one worth discussing. I know so many people who, all though they may not have attempted suicide, considered it in some way. Unfortunately, there were those who no one really knew was considering it who are no longer with us today.
That's what makes it so sticky. Many of us don't want to admit we've been hurt or depressed to the point where ending it has crossed our minds, but maybe admitting it is the first step to dealing with it. I know, I know.... I sound like an advertisement for a suicide hotline. But I'm not asking for anyone to divulge there secrets to me... I'm just asking you to think. Think about whether or not you know someone who has had these thoughts. Think about whether or not you've had these thoughts. Think about how you treat people. And just plain think.
Hannah points out so many times through her story that if even one of the people on these tapes had thought about how their words or actions would have affected her, maybe they would have reconsidered. So let's all, myself included, think about what we are saying to someone and how it could affect their life. Let's consider that we don't know the struggles those around us face. Everyone has inner demons that we are ignorant of, from the stranger passing us on the street, to our best friend. Everyone has struggles that are their own. And maybe it's our rude comment or harsh judgement, mixed with clinical depression, a bad home life, lack of self esteem, a bad grade, and an undeserved reputation that can push a person to his or her limit.
So here's a challenge, tomorrow, when you get the urge to say something not so nice to someone, anyone....don't. Instead do the exact opposite. Say something nice, do something kind. Kind words and gestures carry more weight than we know. They give people hope..... and if you listen to Hannah throughout her story, you'll realize that a little hope was all it would have taken to pull her back.
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