Slow Poison...

         So for those of you who don't know... I enjoy looking at quotes. Especially when I am feeling a little down. I woke up this morning not in the best of moods so I turn on the computer and look at some inspirational quotes for a little pick me up. I come across one quote that really makes me think. That quote was, "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
-- Ann Landers.
        I realized today how true this was. I had let certain individuals consume my thoughts for the past couple months thinking that it would do something for me and to them. But I was wrong. I had allowed these people to get under my skin and worm there way to my heart and sadden it. My resentment slowly consumed me until I began constantly waking up in bad moods and feeling unsure of myself to the point of crying myself to sleep at nights. Well enough is enough... No more rent-free space in my head. Today I decided to try to "evict" resentment from my mind.
         We may think, (or at least I know I do), that somehow all this resentment that we feel makes the person we feel it for miserable. This is most certainly not the case. In my experiences, those people I resent couldn't care less that I harbored ill will towards them. My resentment didn't affect their daily lives. They weren't any less happy because in the back of my mind I resented them for something they had done to me. So while I pretend that my resentment caused them some sort of grief, it was actually slowly eating away at my spirit. I became miserable with doubt and moodiness that I couldn't explain. I just knew that I didn't feel good.
        So I figured, why should I put myself through this. I'm not making them care that they hurt me. All I am doing is hurting myself. So I decided enough is enough. Now I know that resentment will still get the best of me from time to time, but hopefully not as often. Instead of harboring harsh feelings toward the people who have hurt me, I have instead decided to pray for them. Pray for them and our situation. Anything that my resentment of people that hurt me could possible do is more than dismal compared to what could happen by putting the situation in God's hands and letting Him have complete control.